When I then I

We often struggle to bring about change in ourselves – at work, in our habits, in health and in relationships. Human beings get stuck to their patterns and do not change until they are forced to. When we choose unhealthy eating and lack of exercise for a long time, we are forced to change only when the doctor tells us we need to or we have developed a chronic health problem.

Instead proactive change is possible when we take total responsibility for it. One way to make the sub conscious assumptions real is by doing the “When I, Then I” Exercise. It basically means that only when I take full responsibility and take the relevant action can I expect the result or outcome that we are seeking. Some examples of what this may look like

When I eat low carb and keto, then I will lose weight.

When I call my mother everyday, then I will understand her needs better and make her feel good.

When I wake up and make the strategic presentations, then I will be successful at work.

When I workout 3-4 times a week intensively, then I will gain muscle.

When I organize 2-3 date nights a week with my spouse, then I will see our romance blossom.

When I write everyday, then I will become a successful writer.

The power of the idea is that we take total responsibility for the outcome and the actions begin with us. We don’t wait for others or for the situation to improve. We do not put the burden of expectations on anyone else.

It begins with “When I” and hence the next question becomes “when will you start…” and “how will you continue”.

So in any area of your life where you seek change go ahead and write down this construct to see what is the action you need to own and take to start making change.

When I start taking responsibility, then I will see my life change for the better.